By: Rick Casteel
Reviewed by: Deb Fowler
Review Date: November 25, 2010
When people claim that the American economy is in imminent danger of collapsing, we need people to step up to the plate, particularly those who are of the entrepreneurial mind. The narrator of this book, who shall remain unnamed to protect his innocence should anyone decide to sue, has decided to tell the world about how to succeed in business. Perhaps we should rephrase that. He has graciously decided to tell the world how to flop in business and keep on truckin.’ Everyone knows, perhaps because of Kat Von D’s wildly successful career in the tattoo department, that there is money to be made by altering one’s appearance and so he decided to think “tattoo.”
Sorry to say, Kat is not actually mentioned in this book, however this all American entrepreneur came up with the sparkling idea of tattooing organs. He promptly hired a fabulous tattoo artist, Mink, to carry out this magnificent idea (and make a couple of bucks). He divulges to the reader that “We falsely claimed that one out of three people had their kidneys stolen and the best way to protect oneself was to tattoo his/her kidneys with a message and a phone number to call in case it got lost.” (pg. 4) It wasn’t long before people flocked to the shop and Mink was “tattooing two dozen kidneys a day.” Zzzzz zzzzz zzzzz... would he be able to get a grip on the great American dream or would this plan flop?
Our narrator then has another great idea...have you ever thought about purchasing a WWII Sentoku I-400 submarine for twelve-hundred smackeroos? When opportunity knocks (or clunks in this case), you simply step up to the plate and buy. No doubt about it, a sub would be the perfect excursion boat for the San Francisco Bay. He needed to hire a submarine pilot, but that was easy. Vidor Schomp, a shoo-in for the job on the Swan, was anxious to work and stated, “You just buy the bread and sliced meat and we can get going immediately.” (pg. 13) A sushi chef, a Dixie Land Band, and Dora, the “stripper at the O’Farrell Theater for nearly twenty years” soon joined the crew. Was this gonna work? Was it time to order that picket fence? How about buyin’ some white paint at Home Depot?
Let’s just say that the shopping trip needed to be delayed because passenger Jerry Brown was not one who fancied having his face plastered in the National Enquirer. He sent a note that said, “You will leave the state of California within one week and never return.” Can you say “incident?” It was time to move on because a true American entrepreneur does not give up. It seemed to him that Roswell, New Mexico would be a fine place to start a restaurant. An Inter-Galactic House of Pancakes (IGHOP) would be just the ticket. Have you ever heard about the IGHOP? I didn’t think so. Perhaps you’d like to hear the REAL story about the history of the Peking Duck. Just pull up a chair, grab a Tsingtao, and listen...to the duck himself.
If you have aspired to attain the American dream of having 2.5 kids, a little house in the suburbs surrounded by a white picket fence and aren’t cutting the mustard, this book will put a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face. This is actually a marvelous piece of Horatian satire aimed at the good old US of A and everything she stands for. Naturally, many readers who pick up the book will laugh at this short, sometimes daffy read, and put it aside quite unaware of what they had just read. From start to finish the dialogue is akin to winding up a wanna be famous stand-up comedian and letting him or her loose in Times Square. There are some zany, light-hearted jabs at the American “experience.” For example, the unnamed narrator was in dire need of a propeller for the Sentoku. “Right there, in between the Fokke D. VII cowlings and Norton Bombsites, sat a big shiny propeller.” (pgs. 20-21) Ain’t Costco grand? Only in America can we read a book that takes a crack at society and is a work of art all rolled into one.
Quill says: If you don’t have time to read everything on Craigslist, simply throw yourself in your favorite overstuffed recliner and get ready to laugh. Say, is that “Ira and the Starlighters” I’m hearing?
For more information on The Entrepreneur, please visit the publisher's website at: www.createspace.com