By: David Drum
Publisher: Burning Books Press
Publication Date: September 2010
Reviewed by: Deb Fowler
Review Date: December 17, 2010
Commodore Commode's favorite way to accent a situation was to pass a little gas and turn his head. Who me? Perhaps it was only fitting in honor of the family business, toilet production, started by "Red Nick" Commode all those years ago in Cleveland. The business was now located in Santa Barbara, California and since Red's day, there had been many additions to the family. Commodore and his wife, the dear departed Milly, had three children, her favorite being Philip (with one L) who had a "platonic friend" named Diego. Their other two children, Petunia and Clementine, had long since been married off to two gold digging Omega Pi fraternity brothers at Stanford. Commodore Cornelius Commode III had it all including two ridiculous sons-in-law and more money than he'd ever be able to count. Cha ching!
Petunia Rockefeller was swept off her feet by one "Prince" Simon Butterknut, who promptly became the vice-president of legal affairs in the old capitalist billionaire's office. Petunia was not hard to please (at first) and the simple addition of a "knee-high little pig, which followed her around the mansion like a perky dog" made her oh so happy. Before you know it, she had so many "children" she had to keep them on "Pig Island." Money was nothing to them and flowed though their hands like water. Clemmie promptly hitched up with Prince's pal, R. Baron "Clippy" Clipster, a plastic surgeon. Clippy had been "taught to work fast and hard in medical school to keep his knives and surgical instruments sharp and sterile at all times, and to bill for everything as soon as possible after the surgery." Money in, money out, but soon Prince Nutty and Clippy would conspire to get more.
Commodore wasn't getting much of anything since his darling Milly had died, but his sons-in-law, always concerned about dear old daddy, had something in mind to lift his spirits and add to their wallets. Nutty had a proposal for the Doctor saying, "It's all your money! Even if she knew about it Clementine wouldn't be able to touch a dime." To which the Doctor, who was no fool, replied, "I like it. Count me in." There was big money to be made if those toilet factories were relocated to China. Nutty knew that the old fart once had a fling with an Asian girl. Miss Long Drive Loo, their co-conspirator, was soon on the scene. She "leaned toward Commodore and confided that when she was a girl, a fortune teller in Nanking told her that she would some day fall in love with a handsome businessman ..." Would old Commie fall for Miss Loo? Would they get him to move the company businesses to Shanghai? Would Philip (with one L) foil their plans?
This hilarious spoof on the richest so called "family" in America will keep you in stitches from the first page to the last. Everyone has a particular comedic genre they prefer and if it is of the Reader's Digest type you need not apply here. The characters, including their names, were cornball personified. Admittedly, I do like to read books every now and then that sound like Benny Hill is dashing thorough the pages ahead of me and this one fit the bill perfectly. The writing was spot on inane and the laughter, although it didn't come incessantly, came often enough to keep me quite amused. Some of the rhetoric did make some valid points. For example, when Nutty claimed, "There's a conspiracy underway to take every one of your jobs to China and leave you unemployed."
Quill says: If you want to relax and have a few good laughs, you just might want to visit with the daffiest and richest family the good old US of A has ever seen, the Commodes!