By: Nocita Carter
Publisher: Weblinks LLC
Publication Date: August 2010
Reviewed by: Eloise Michael
Review Date: October 13, 2010
As its name suggests, Dating Tips For You, by Nocita Carter, offers dating advice. The book is divided into sections with topics ranging from the straightforward “Should I Ask Someone On A Date?” to more complex issues, such as “I Want To Date Someone Who Is Married. Should I?”
The chapters are brief and address the basics of their subject. The tips generally include a list of pros and cons to consider, along with some definite dos and don'ts. An adult who has some prior dating experience, or even someone with good social intuition, might not need help on a level this basic. However, readers who are having trouble knowing where to begin with a particular dilemma will find this book comforting and easy to navigate.
Using the table of contents, readers can flip directly to the section that deals with a particular subject. Within each topic Carter starts right at the beginning, outlining the perspectives readers should consider, the pros and cons, and finally some hard-and-fast rules that readers will be glad they followed, such as never to date someone who is married.
Social relationships can be complicated, and none so much as romantic relationships. Readers who are overwhelmed by the unpredictability of dealing with others, by the subtleties of communication, or by their own insecurities will appreciate this step-by-step guide. Carter makes it easier for readers to begin talking to someone they are interested in dating by giving readers concrete instructions, and also through her encouraging tone.
Carter's grammar is not always perfect; however, the book reads like one friend talking to another. Her warm, helpful tone works well with her informal style. She addresses readers as though she were having a conversation with them, writing, for example, “You may be thinking that I'm over forty years old and who would be interested in dating me? Well, believe it or not, there are many people that would be interested in dating you.” (pg. 29). When Carter is not giving practical advice, she is giving pep-talks.
Alongside encouraging readers to go out and take some emotional risks, Carter cautions readers to participate only in situations where they are physically safe. She also assures them that they are never obligated to have sex with their dates.
Finally, at the end of nearly every section, Carter encourages her readers to think for themselves and trust their instincts. For example, in the section titled “What Should I Not Tell My Date?” Carter closes by saying, “Well, you probably have a good idea on what you should not tell your date. After all, do you want to keep dating the person you're with, or do you want to keep looking for someone new? You're probably saying to yourself, I really would like to continue dating the person I'm with. Then, if this is the case, don't scare them away from you.” (pg. 41).
In Dating Tips For You, Carter gives readers a place to start. She encourages them to overcome fears and take some risks, and she empowers them to decide what is right for themselves.
Quill says: All the basics of dating with an encouraging tone and easy-to-use format.